Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Transitory Elation

When everything is mechanical and as passive as breathing, it’s always a relief when a different stimulus, something out of the ordinary, springs out to break your monotonous routine. It’s like cross-stitching; with every in and out of the needle, there’s a ready hole waiting. And each hole is calculated to finish into a bigger picture, your pattern.

My life is like that right now. It’s not that I don’t smile or rather unhappy with what’s happening, in fact I laugh everyday and I love what I’m doing—most of it. It’s just that each day is no different than the other. However, when night comes and I want to sleep, but I can’t, that’s when I get to see through a rather sad perspective.

For this reason, an offhand statement, of a certain person has somehow moved me to temporary elation. It was technically a joke. But people have this tendency to misinterpret, maybe intentional, and think that there is something between the lines when they have a dormant or active affinity for the person who verbalized a harmless dialogue. They try to give meaning to something meaningless. A lot would say that this is desperation and complete malice, I say otherwise. Not because I am one of those culprits but for people living amidst monotony, it’s our sweet escape.

I need not drench myself in ice-cold water or drink a tongue-burning coffee just to make contact with reality. That is something I am well-acquainted with. I do admit that I have imaginative tendencies but what happens in my head remains in my head. I’m merely expressing the relief and what an icebreaker that unexpected and completely mind-boggling phenomenon was.

I never imagined someone saying or rather using a series of flattering words directed to me. It’s not a compliment, it’s more of a situational parody stated with elating vocabulary and in a nonchalant manner. The nonchalance amplifies the feeling I get. It’s so casual that maybe it’s within the zone of the unconscious. Of course, the unconscious is the truth because it’s beyond control and censorship. Now this is me—daydreaming.

Well, with the writing of this post I now chose to let that go. An immediate return to systematic day-by-day lifestyle—maybe I’ll hear something as eyebrow-raising and stimulating as before. Not necessarily from the same person, maybe from someone else. Who knows, maybe from him too? Hope exists for the hopeless.


Sunday, January 27, 2008


Alas, I forgive myself for failing to write something about my beloved cousin. Just now, I’ve finished writing things I remember about her short-lived stay. Though it may not be as commendable as my other works (if there is any – hopefully), it’s still enough for me to say that I have redeemed myself. It is sufficient to stand as my statement as one of her witnesses that she was once here and once passed through here.


Thursday, January 17, 2008


The idea that I can’t write anything about my cousin, who passed away, is revolting. I thought I had a lot to say but the fact is I don’t. I was rudely awakened that I have already forgotten who she was when we were kids. It’s disgusting that I can write about almost anything under the sun but not my own blood-relative and first cousin. I am opinionated, which is a trait that I persistently brandish and wave around the faces of my friends and yet here I am – at a complete loss. I would normally be someone who blurts out what he thinks and have the audacity to impose myself on others. But this… it’s not proper, moreover, it is disturbing and, did I already say disgusting and revolting? My stomach churns at the idea and the reality that I was only able to write a mere four paragraphs compared to my five-pages-long articles. I am now apologetic and regretful, of all people, I hadn’t interviewed my cousin. I was too busy with other things that I overlooked the important blessings I had.

We know the value of things that we want to have, and once we have it and clasped within our hands – we lose sight of it. Then when it’s gone, that’s the only time that we realize its true value which we failed to appreciate.

I’m sorry but I promise to remember, before the month ends.

Playing, “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” by Celine Dion. I do hope that this helps.


Sunday, January 13, 2008

A Healthy Competition

The Office
Rule of individuality says all are unique and no two persons are completely alike. Each person is blessed with a set of skills and talents but no two individuals will have the same combination or influence. The intricate mixture of personality, interest, drive, experience and talent will ultimately differentiate one from another. This weaved web of traits is too fluid that people tend to see them at a singular angle. In truth, a multiple perspective will critique and distinguish a certain characteristic in a logical manner.

Therefore, when talent is equal or fairly matched, the delimiting mark would be personality, interest, experience and drive. There is no perfect recipe of these august ingredients but there is always the right one. In any field or profession, one can find abundance if not absence of talented beings. However, it is wrong to compete with talent as your ground; you have to take which identical piece of the puzzle fits. Furthermore, before you compete you have to acknowledge first. Acknowledgment of a rival's talent means to accept one's limit, being humble permits improvement and is conducive for learning. Then, you get busy and prove yourself. Healthy competition can always bring out the best in people.

The prize should not be what you're competing for but who you're competing against. Knowledge gained from intellectual rivalry is a higher stake than a mere trophy of power to show off. If you're skilled, there's no need to boast because talent can't be contained and will always find a way to burst out in the open. And those around you will inevitably feel its impact.


Saturday, January 12, 2008

FEU @ 80 Concert

Far Eastern University Central Student Organization
and FEU Institute Student
Council 2007-2008

FEU@80:The Concert Bands
>Up Dharma Dowm

FEU quadrangle and grandstand

fellow Tamaraws repost this and tell
all your friends



Here’s a hilarious text message.
"Ones I crush a guy from my alma mother who got my number so we could keep intact. Sabi ko connect me if I’m wrong, but are you asking me ouch? Sabi niya, “The?! I mean, tell me to the marines ang kapal! The nerd!” Naiyak ako because of hunger. I cried buckles of tears. Tapos sabi niya, “Don’t cry… Isipin mo na lang this is a blessing in the sky. Irregardless of my feelings, let’s go ouch na rin.” Now we’re so in love. Mute and epidemic na yung pass. Thanks God we shallowed our fried!'"
There’re still a few lines in there that I don’t get.

“I mean, tell me to the marines”
“Mute and epidemic na ‘yung pass.”
I wonder what those two lines mean. 


Ayie and Czarlyse

This is a video for my bestfriend and my goddaughter. A 'cheesy' tribute for her first years as a mother'.


Thursday, January 10, 2008

A Chance for Stupor

In a rather conclusive manner I'd say that ‘procrastination’ is a student’s worst offense and ultimate crime. Sheesh! If wasting time is a real obstruction of justice, and the penalty is death by lethal injection, then I would’ve died a hundred times over. I don't know if it’s directly related to my temporary ‘drama’ of losing sight of things but damn it does take a higher toll.
Well, one of my great sins was committed again yesterday. Forgive me for I have re-sinned. Our case presentation has been pending since last year, before the New Year, and I just finished my part quite unsatisfactorily. Though distasteful, I have no other option but to 'do with what I have' unless I want to spend another gruesome sleepless night.
Redirecting to my initial topic, I had the whole day yesterday to bag the presentation. Instead I was doing, ‘sige mamaya na lang’, ‘eto sure na mamaya na talaga’ (I still have time, I’ll do it later, I promise I’ll do it after this’) Seemingly a TV series with unending sequels, I delayed and ended up with a coffee in my hand while fighting off the Zs. And this eventually led to an open-mouthed, hypersalivating and unconscious student (me) on the way to the hospital for our duty.
At least now I get to sleep for 3 to 4 hours. Now why am I still typing here?!


Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Basketball is Not the Only Sport

The FEU quadrangle after the rain

On a daily basis for the past week, news about a suggested merger between the country’s two famous collegiate leagues, the University Athletics Association of the Philippines (UAAP) and the National College Athletic Association (NCAA), was published on newspapers. I’m not against the idea but it casts an old and extensive shadow over other sports included in the said leagues. These are two very old and traditional leagues with very established identities.

I don’t have a good view of the NCAA, but like in the UAAP, I do know that these leagues are composed of other sports. The idea of merging the two leagues just because of promoting Basketball (once again) somewhat discards the presence of the other sports. Though the ‘merger’ as stated in the Inquirer is still issue-stricken and will need to be talked over by UAAP, NCAA and BAP-Samahan ng Basketbol officials, they shouldn’t shun other competitive sports aside.
During my senior days in high school, there was a boom in the popularity of volleyball in the country. This I credit to Shakey’s V league where collegiate women’s volleyball teams competed regardless if they’re UAAP or NCAA member schools. Those whose name resounded strongly with the crowd or on the statistics sheet were the ones chosen to be part of the Philippine Volleyball Team. I don’t have the exact timeline when the likes of Michelle Carolino from De La Salle University and Mary Jean Balse from the University of Santo Tomas have battled against other Asian contenders.
And volleyball is just one of the other sports.

There are still other sports where Filipinos exhibit skill and competitiveness but the limelight seem to deny them recognition as the cheers ring loud for Basketball. Not that I’m against the game. In fact, I enjoy watching the basketball games in Araneta. I’ve accepted that basketball is a national sport and a pivotal part of our culture. What I’m trying drive at though, is for shoots to share the fame with smashes, high kicks, goals, spikes and checkmates.
The adrenalin-rush, fascination, gasping, yelling, cheering and crowd-wowing stunts are not limited in a Basketball court.


Navigation and a New Direction

I just came home from Starbucks. At last, I’ve found an outlet for the distress I’m feeling for quite awhile. In my previous entry, my mind was in a topsy-turvy state. Alas, I found someone who’s easy to talk to. My friend gave me that much-needed relief.

I found relief in having a plan.

A plan is an organized, step-by-step stratagem. But coinage of the term contingency or a ‘back-up’ plan shows how plans get derailed. Thus, hatching a Plan B becomes a necessity. It is this undertaking which redirected my cluttered and slightly rebellious behavior—making it momentous for me. It somehow invigorates the detrimental position I found myself in. A paramount factor would be the person who accommodated my whines.

Having a friend like that is like having a GPS in the Philippines. The streets aren’t perfectly mapped out and getting to a location is very tricky. They don’t actually command you to take the road. They let you gradually propose a plausible path. And it’s up to you to formulate a SMART decision; Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-bound.

Despite the number of friends, or should I say acquaintances, I could talk to; I learned how rare good conversations are. There are only a handful of persons who possess this attribute.

Everyone should know who their ‘go-to’ person is.


Sunday, January 6, 2008

A Life I Used to Want

I never thought that I’d end up admitting that the life I’m living now isn’t what I wanted. I think my grasp of the whole thing is slowly slipping, inconclusively but intentional. Trying to hold a number of things together needs a rather elevated, above average ability of balance—which I believe I possess. It’s like having all of Shiva’s hands.

So where’s the problem?

Interest and loss of momentum. I can perfectly recall that sad Saturday morning during my fourth year in high school. Winning is vital for our volleyball team. We needed to win to compete in the Finals. Unfortunately, we fell short as we have done in our previous games.

We lost the first set with a 23-25 score. Not bad, especially when it a ballooned reception ended that set. It was in the second set that I felt the same thing that I’m feeling now. Nailing the etiology for my present façade is still obscure. Yet, I can identify with that game. We were leading with just one point. The score was 15-14 and it’s our service. All was well so far. Strategy was dancing inside our court. But after we lost the tie with a 15-16, we were pinned. Loss of momentum was the solitary cause.

Comparable to my unwell state, I lost the will to push through. It’s like I’m this dimwit who runs around the fire instead of putting it out. To be honest, typing this blog perfectly depicts my current state.

People who don’t exert too much effort are those who’re, usually, content with what they have. Ambitious and career-driven individuals would push themselves to the limit just to get what they want and get out of whatever hell they’re in. It’s not that I’m satisfied or content. I know I need to be someone more.

But why bother?

I’m living a life that I used to want. Now, I’ll have to do my best to want this life again, ..and I don’t see that happening in the near future, but hey I’ve got to try right?


  ©Template by Dicas Blogger.