Customer Service and Humor

Working in a call center, for the first time, has its own ups and downs. But generally, the experience, and retention, would depend on the account you work for. For example, a financial account would probably handle numerous irate customers due to the nature of their concern, which is money, the usual cause for a teaspoon-sized temper for most people. Though it is relatively easy to sign-up and enlist, it is also easy to lose interest in what you’re doing and leave, either the account, the company or—the job. Who wants to be a stress-ball for customers frustrated with the products or services of the business entity you work for? Agents would. But like I said, it has ups as well, aside from the money, of course a definite up, here are a few call experiences that I’ve heard from other call center agents.

Note that names, accounts and other sensitive information are withheld for confidentiality purposes. And these short dialogues are slightly edited. But the gist is there.
   

> Airline Customer Service

Agent: Good morning! Thank you for calling “Airlines”. I’m Agent, How can I assist you today?

Customer: Hi there! And good morning to you too Agent. You see I’m travelling with my two sons, for the first time (laughs), which excites them both since it’s their first time to ride a plane. I would like to see if you could get us, you know, Window Seats?

Agent: I’d be happy to assist you with that, let me just check if there are Window Seats available.

(There are two seats beside all Windows. Agent located Window Seats away from the wing, for the two boys, to make them enjoy the flight.)

Agent: I am pleased to inform you Ma’am that I can reserve Window Seats for you, would you like me to do that now?

Customer: Yeah sure, just one more favor Agent. Can you place me between my two boys?

Agent: (dumbfounded silence)

(Thinking: between the two boys, with two Window Seats? So one of her son is outside the plane?!?)

Agent: Sure Ma’am no problem! (Places them all Window Seats, one boy in front of the mother, and one behind her)
    

> Mobile Phone Technical Support

Agent: Good morning! Thank you for calling “Mobile Phone”. I’m Agent, How can I assist you today?

Customer: Gawd! I was on hold for like ages there! (Agent injects an apology but Customer goes on) Anyway, (sighs in frustration) my Bluetooth isn’t working. I just bought this you know, and it’s not working. I can’t even send a photo to my friend!

(reads that Customer is calling from Oklahoma) (Agent probes)

Agent: Ma’am, when you tried to send the image, where were you and your friend?

Customer: My friend is in Ohio. 

Agent: (stunned silence)
    

> Laptop Technical Support

Agent: Good morning! Thank you for calling “Laptop”. I’m Agent, How can----

Customer: (Apparently Irate) I’VE BEEN ON HOLD FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF! I’ve CALLED you because this F*@ing machine that costs A LOT OF DOLLARS which I JUST BOUGHT YESTERDAY isn’t working NOW! I turned it ON yesterday and it has been WORKING FINE since. BUT JUST THIS MORNING it suddenly SHUT DOWN while I was watching a movie! PIECE O’CRAP! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT NOW HUH!?!

Agent: Sir, is there any light on the power.

Customer: NO! WHAT AM I STUPID? I TOLD YOU, IT SHUT DOWN BY ITSELF. I keep trying to turn it on but NO! It’s not turning on and NO! It doesn’t have a light on the POWER! Stupid *ss.

Agent: Have you checked the connections sir?

Customer: THIS IS A LAPTOP, you idiot, it’s not supposed to have connections.

Agent: Sir, I was just asking if you have it connected to a power socket?

Customer: WHAT? You mean this cable here?

Agent: Yes sir, because you would need to charge it.
     

> Laptop Technical Support

Agent: Good morning! Thank you for calling “Laptop”. I’m Agent, How can I assist you today?

Customer: Yeah, I have a CD that contains a program I want to install. How do I do that?

Agent: Go to the Drive where you have inserted the CD and right-click on it.

Customer: Hold on. How do I insert it to my laptop?

(Agent sighs on mute)

Agent: At the side of the laptop, there’s a button there. Press it and insert your CDROM

Customer: (trying to locate the eject button) okay let me try that..at the..side.. (presses on the button, and in a very surprised tone) OH! THE CUPHOLDER!?!

Agent: (WHAT?!?) I’m sorry, what was that?

Customer: I use this as my cupholder!
   

> Mobile Phone Customer Service 

Agent: Good morning! Thank you for calling “Mobile Phone”. I’m Agent, How can I assist you today?

Customer: O hi there! I would like to know my IMEI number. (the physical unit's unique number)

Agent: I’m more than happy to provide you with that. Actually sir, you can also see your IMEI number at the back of your phone when you remove its battery, and---

Sir? ..Hello? Can you hear me sir?
 

> Customer Service

Agent: Agent: Good morning! Thank you for calling. I’m Agent, How can I assist you today? 
Customer: Your Customer Service is just awful..I mean c’mon, I’ve been on hold for like 2 HOURS AND A HALF. I’ve been transferred from the other department, who doesn’t speak English by the way, saying that you could help me. But Gawd, 2 hours? And you call that Customer Service? That’s not service, that’s customer disservi------

(busy tone..call got disconnected)

   

Well this is just a few anecdotes that got us laughing. And made us realize why the call center industry is booming. Feel free to share funny calls, just make sure that you don't include sensitive information.
    

Image from: www.call-center.net