Pedicure Ko 'Yan!

Is it still eavesdropping even if you can hear your neighbor having a loud argument from across the street? (stupid question)

It was more than just a heated argument; it was more like an explosive debate. Our neighbor was having a shout-off contest, both of them trying to top the other's voice. Can you blame me for listening? I mean, they’re way louder than our TV. Maybe if I can shut my ears and focus my listening, it will all go away. That is if we plug an earphone to the TV.

There were a few words that I could make out from the seemingly endless series of yells and sort of "battle cries." My friend and I began wondering what the ruckus was about. So we turned the TV and electric fan off, we’re obviously gossip-mongers, and our attention shifted from American Idol to our neighbor’s window. It's as if we were listening on a radio program. The type that goes, "Aray! Bakit mo ‘ko hinampas sa batok ng malakas?"

   

We can’t make out their whole dialogue; we were only able to determine a number of words - which doesn’t make sense at all. They were, in random order; electric fan, bayaran, p*t*ngina mo, leche ka, ako pa rin, kanina ka pa, masakit

    

Let’s try making sense with these words by stringing a few lines:

   

Woman: ARAY! P*t*ngina mo! Masakit!

Man: eh hindi ko nga sinasadya eh! Nakaharang ka kasi d’yan p*ta!

Woman: eh g*go ka pala eh! Kaka-pedicure ko lang n’yan! Kaya mo ba bayaran ‘yan hah?

Man: Leche ka! D’yan ka kasi nakapuwesto sa electric fan eh!

Woman: pinapatuyo ko nga pedicure ko eh tatapakan mo lang! t*ngin* ka rin eh noh!

Man: (slams the electric fan) eh p*tangin* akin naman ‘tong electric fan ah! Kaya mo ba bayaran ‘yan hah!? HINDE!

Woman: p*ta! Ako pa rin ang nagbabayad ng kuryente ng p*nyet*ng electric fan na ‘yan! ‘Wag mo sirain at ginagamit ko pa! F*ck sh*t!

Man: Ul*l ka nagpapedicure ka lang ang yabang mo na! kanina ka pa bwis*t ka!

Evidently, they weren’t rehearsing for some play since the lines are just plain dumb. Nah I made those lines up (you didn’t really think that they were having a debate over some pesky pedicure right?). But the jumbled words are true, these words were the most audible fragments of their shout-off.

    

If you're thinking why I posted this, imagine yourself in your room and you can hear a vocal war right outside your window. What to do? Blog.