Tamang Pagsagot

There is evident behavior of not giving the appropriate answer to certain simple questions.

Setting: Classroom (FINAL EXAMS FOR NCM)

Ma’am Cambe: You only have five minutes remaining!

BSN 936: Yes, Ma’am!

(After a few minutes)

Ma’am: Class, how’s the exam?

BSN 936: Not yet!

(Correct Reply: "Difficult” or for the wiz kid "Easy")

Setting: CSV Lying-in

Ma’am Bugna: O Medina gaano kahaba ang umbilical cord?

Gemame: Yes Ma’am

Same setting

Ma’am Bugna: O ikaw Mr. Manalang gaano kahaba ang umbilical cord?

Ivan: No Ma’am

(Correct Reply: 55cm-- tama ba? or "hindi ko po alam")

Setting: Advocate Office

Aubrey: ‘Oy edge ‘yung article niyo tapos na ba?

Edge: Kasi si Dwight may production eh tapos si Greta finals

Aubrey: tapos na nga ba?

Edge: Nakausap na nila si sir pero may kailangan pa

Aubrey: eh tapos na ba?

Edge: tapos pwede ba daw gumawa ng sidebar for earthquake preparedness?

Aubrey: Pwede, so hindi pa tapos?

Edge: sige sasabihin ko

(Correct Reply: "Hindi pa po")

Setting: text message

Sender: Wer n u?

Receiver: D2 n me?

Sender: Wer nga?

Receiver: Hir nga me

(Correct Reply: specific location)

Sender: kamusta?

Edge: Who are you po? nabura kasi contacts ko ‘eh

Sender: Ako ‘to ano ka ba

Edge: Huh?! Sino po?

Sender: Ay ayoko na, tampo na ako sa’yo

Edge: ok

(Correct Reply: your name)

Setting: At home, telephone call

Caller: may klase ba ngayon?

Receiver: Oo nga ‘eh ang lakas ng bagyo noh

Caller: tingin ko nga walang klase ‘eh, meron pa ba?

Receiver: baha na nga dito ‘eh ang taas na ng tubig

Caller: dito rin ‘eh, papasok ka ba?

Receiver: Oo...meron kayang pasok.

(Correct Reply: "Merong pasok ngayon")

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Pedicure Ko 'Yan!

Is it still eavesdropping even if you can hear your neighbor having a loud argument from across the street? (stupid question)

It was more than just a heated argument; it was more like an explosive debate. Our neighbor was having a shout-off contest, both of them trying to top the other's voice. Can you blame me for listening? I mean, they’re way louder than our TV. Maybe if I can shut my ears and focus my listening, it will all go away. That is if we plug an earphone to the TV.

There were a few words that I could make out from the seemingly endless series of yells and sort of "battle cries." My friend and I began wondering what the ruckus was about. So we turned the TV and electric fan off, we’re obviously gossip-mongers, and our attention shifted from American Idol to our neighbor’s window. It's as if we were listening on a radio program. The type that goes, "Aray! Bakit mo ‘ko hinampas sa batok ng malakas?"

   

We can’t make out their whole dialogue; we were only able to determine a number of words - which doesn’t make sense at all. They were, in random order; electric fan, bayaran, p*t*ngina mo, leche ka, ako pa rin, kanina ka pa, masakit

    

Let’s try making sense with these words by stringing a few lines:

   

Woman: ARAY! P*t*ngina mo! Masakit!

Man: eh hindi ko nga sinasadya eh! Nakaharang ka kasi d’yan p*ta!

Woman: eh g*go ka pala eh! Kaka-pedicure ko lang n’yan! Kaya mo ba bayaran ‘yan hah?

Man: Leche ka! D’yan ka kasi nakapuwesto sa electric fan eh!

Woman: pinapatuyo ko nga pedicure ko eh tatapakan mo lang! t*ngin* ka rin eh noh!

Man: (slams the electric fan) eh p*tangin* akin naman ‘tong electric fan ah! Kaya mo ba bayaran ‘yan hah!? HINDE!

Woman: p*ta! Ako pa rin ang nagbabayad ng kuryente ng p*nyet*ng electric fan na ‘yan! ‘Wag mo sirain at ginagamit ko pa! F*ck sh*t!

Man: Ul*l ka nagpapedicure ka lang ang yabang mo na! kanina ka pa bwis*t ka!

Evidently, they weren’t rehearsing for some play since the lines are just plain dumb. Nah I made those lines up (you didn’t really think that they were having a debate over some pesky pedicure right?). But the jumbled words are true, these words were the most audible fragments of their shout-off.

    

If you're thinking why I posted this, imagine yourself in your room and you can hear a vocal war right outside your window. What to do? Blog.

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Adieu!

To the Advo EB 07-08

Sa dami ng tao sa mundo, mabubuhay ka ng iilan lang ang nakakakilala sayo at mamamatay ka ng iilan lang ang malulungkot sa pagkawala mo.

At dahil ‘jan,

Nakakatuwang isipin na ginugol ko ang isang taon na katrabaho kayo.

Good luck with your post-grad lives!

(what a cheesy post)

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