A Gay Kid in the 90s

Seeing a gay kid pretend he isn’t gay amusingly reminds me of my own childhood. Not that I celebrate in someone else’s misery but it’s just nostalgic. I also tried to deny the irrevocable truth, so I understand how difficult it is. And it took quite a long time before I hit my head and realized I was fighting a losing battle. But I was in denial not merely for the sake of conformity but for fear of the unknown. Back then, I had no idea what it meant to be gay. But I do know what I enjoyed.

Volleyball. Surprisingly, basketball was my first sport. I remember enjoying the feeling of getting the ball through the hoop, until I played with three other kids—a 2-on-2 game. While people would think gays enjoy basketball because you get the ‘chance’ to brush up on a baller’s.. well.. physique, that's not the case for me, honestly (cue scowls and doubts ‘weh ‘di nga?!?). I didn’t like it because of the sweat. Your shirtless opponent is practically drying himself on your shirt. I felt like a towel, and remember going straight to the shower after that game. I was an idiot for not knowing what ‘contact’ sport means. And I remember having the ring stripped down from the coconut tree—permanently. So I shifted to Volleyball, which is less of a contact sport than Basketball.

The Unicorn Club. It was around the same time when bikes and rollerblades were popular in our village when I became a member of the Unicorn Club. I never had rollerblades, but I did own a red bike (yes red, not pink). And we would sort of patrol the village, all members of the said club, in single file. Most readers around early twenties, would know or have read the Sweet Valley High (SVH) series by Francine Pascal. The twins, Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield of SVH, are members of The Unicorn Club and we decided to bring it out of the book’s pages. Each of us also owned a Coca-Cola card signifying our membership.

This is exactly the star shaped
Polly Pocket I used to borrow

Polly Pocket. Barbie is a staple toy for most girls. I never shared the fanaticism. I liked Ken more. But I never played with a Ken, maybe because my ‘gaydar’ was already up and running in its early stages. Ken is so gay. I mean, no straight guy would have such a collection of outrageous clothes, not to mention his freaking hairdo. I played Polly Pocket instead. I go to a friend’s house every afternoon to play with her Polly Pockets. She has enough to share. Not that I can’t buy one, but I didn’t dare ask, come on (what a scene that would be?!). She would always lend me her star-shaped Polly Pocket, then we would set up other Polly Pockets with our other friends, usually her cousin and another neighbor. And tada we have a Polly Pocket village. But don't get me wrong, my favorite toy would still be, forevermore, Lego.

Ten-Twenty and Chinese Garter. I excelled in the Tinikling stage of Ten-Twenty, and occasional winner in Chinese Garter. Every girl my age would own a garter, looped and ready for street garter action. Yes, I also had one, but I rarely use it. My garter was a backup. Sure I also played other street games like Agawan Base, Tag, or Bente-Uno, which is a modified version of Tag, I was a favorite teammate for Patintero, and the famous Langit-Lupa (I still remember the lyrics to its chant). But nothing beats playing Ten-Twenty because it gives you a sense of completion when you reach the latter stages—that only the best of the best competes in (ehem!).

From Left to Right. Sporty Spice, Ginger Spice, Posh Spice, Baby Spice and Scary Spice 

The Spice Girls. The Spice Up Your Life album is my first album purchase. CDs were still considered high end then, but was gaining popularity fast, and cassette tapes were standard. I still remember the dance steps to Stop’s chorus, and I know I’m not alone in this. My favorite Spice Girls song is Wannabe, next is Mama, Viva Forever, Goodbye My Friend, and the carrier single Spice Up Your Life. I think I’ve spilled enough to depict how devastated I was when the group split up. Still, we had Steps and their boot scootin’ songs to dance to, and eventually the boy bands and Britney Spears.

Mara Clara. Who doesn’t know Mara and Clara? I believe Mara Clara is the prototype of most Philippine drama series. Judy Ann Santos played Mara who is the ultimate protagonist in the Filipino sense, Mara has no bad side and angelic in every way. Gladys Reyes’ portrayal of the ultimate antagonist Clara, is commendable. I really hated her before. Mara Clara can be summed up with, ‘Ang bida mabait, ang kontrabida masama’ (The protagonist is good, the antagonist is evil), period. Then, Marimar led the Mexican invasion of Philippine TV.

Sailormoon. Yes I am Sailor Mars, Rei in the famous animation that every girl and gay kid loved at the time. It aired in ABC5 and I remember hurrying home to catch each episode. And yes I had a short crush on Tuxedo Mask, Mamuro. Well, there’s no other guy in the series, except for the other Alibaba-inspired version of Tuxedo Mask.  I forgot who he is or if he is also Mamuro in a different costume. Anyway, I stopped watching the series after Sailor Jupiter joined. If anything else, Sailormoon did inspire me to study the Milky Way Galaxy in Science class (not my best subject).

The Bullying. Most, if not all, gay kids would’ve experienced bullying at some degree. I was asked, “What are you?” numerous times, and, like a moron, I answered 'kalahati' (half-boy, half-girl) to others' enjoyment. With mature hindsight, laughing at my own idiocy, I realized how much of a laughingstock I made myself of. Regardless, I do remember how the perception affected me. I was always guarded, scared to let anyone get too close enough to inflict serious damage to my self-esteem. But I took it all in positively. I was the gay kid determined to prove himself in everything he does, mainly to avoid ridicule, and eventually to gain respect.

Being a gay kid is usually tougher than being a typical boy or girl. I do not mean to minimize the struggles of others, but any bullying in childhood, can make or break any kid. So that goes for all. And let’s not mention puberty..(whew!)

But all I’m saying is, gay kids are usually easy targets, maybe because of our awkwardness in trying to reconcile the two sides of our persona, and when bullies try to reconcile two sides of their persona; what society thinks as acceptable and what they personally believe as acceptable.


I think I'm going to listen to Spice Up Your Life now. 

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Top Ten Funny Behavior in Facebook (of Pinoys) part 2

By Edge and Larra

If you don’t have a Facebook (FB) account then you are a) living under a rock, b) at an advanced age, c) stuck in the Friendster era, or worse, d) dead. You would probably know someone, or have committed these funny acts in FB yourself, writers not exempted (We are as guilty as everyone is). This article is not accurate, so don’t berate us with statistics because we didn’t even bother with the word (Not to mention the college subject necessary for our theses!). Anyway here’s our top ten funny behavior of (Pinoy) Facebook users (based on fabricated statistics of how many people do it):

Please note: If you find yourself among these, it doen’t mean you have to change, but if you’re a real nuisance, then please do. Haha! Peace! ^^

The Top 5

Top 5. The ‘Social activist’ (Superliker)

The act of liking or joining each and every group that pops up. Despite not having a serious purpose aside from laughing at the idea of the group’s existence, these ‘activists’ still continue to join groups that would last for about a week, give or take, then dwindle into oblivion. And getting in on a funny trend is as easy as a click away, this act becomes addictive. If you have a Social activist friend, which I’m sure you do, or you’re one yourself, then they, or you, may also want to start a new online group support, Clickaholics Anonymous.

Top 4. The ‘Facebook Varsity’ (Who’s da playa?!?)

The act of playing every other game that Facebook offers, from the most popular Farmville to the mini-games in existence. If only FB digital money, like the zenies of Ragnarok Online and other serious MMORPGs, are convertible to cash, or channel the time spent playing to a more productive activity, the Facebook Varsity would be well-off. Though the causative factor of this behavior is to relieve stress, they end up more stressed by getting more digital money or improving their stats or levels in their respective games (I know this first-hand, back in RO’s beta days in Chaos). This is when they send lesser or non-players endlessly annoying invites.

Top 3 The ‘Evil Tagger’ (‘Ganda/Gwapo mo kasi sa pic ‘eh)

The act of tagging someone in a photo where he or she looks like living hell while the tagger’s shot is heaven-sent. The motivation of the tagger is one of pure evil. Don’t you just hate it when your most hideous form, or your highest level of atrocity (if you’re not always monstrous) somehow makes its way to be displayed publicly for the entertainment of netizens here and abroad?

The worst evil tagger you could find would be one of the closest persons in your life. Your parents are not excluded. Those who have access to your humiliating childhood pictures and have the ability to scan and upload them can destroy your online life. Those who are blessed with a fast-hand with a ready digicam during nights out gains leverage over you. Stop thinking about paparazzis or the Pinoy TMZ because you’re not a celebrity; but think friends, close friends, and best friends.

But seriously, these embarrassing photos can deter potential employers if you do not act fast to untag yourself. Facebook is the fastest and convenient way for recruiters to know more about their applicants. Evil-taggers should know that this act has serious repercussions. It’s a matter of making your profile or album private, but not to the point of nonexistence.

Another known behavior of this creature, is tagging you in a photo where you’re not there at all. The purpose is either to sell you something or torture you for missing a very happy event.

Everyone is a target for the evil-tagger and anyone can be an evil-tagger.

Top 2. The Wall Poster (‘di ko gets?!?)

The act of irrational conversation on a certain wall post instead of opening a chatroom. Though it is easier and more convenient to chat, or open a conference if there are more than two chatters, the Wall Poster tends to publicize the exchange by commenting, extensively. This is a widely popular behavior for FB users.

In the defense of Wall Posters, being wall posters ourselves, commenting on wall posts compared to a chatroom proves to have longer shelf life. At any time the exchange can be easily revived with just another comment.

The annoying but also funny version is finding a certain wall post as a coffee shop by friends who’re catching up, using your wall post as chatroom while discussing something completely unrelated.

Top 1. Your status, your like, your comment.

Enough Said. (eh ‘yung iPPM ka para magpalike ng status?!)

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Top Ten Funny Behavior in Facebook (of Pinoys) part 1

By Edge and Larra

If you don’t have a Facebook (FB) account then you are a) living under a rock, b) at an advanced age, c) stuck in the Friendster era, or worse, d) dead. You would probably know someone, or have committed these funny acts in FB yourself, writers not exempted (We are as guilty as everyone is). This article is not accurate, so don’t berate us with statistics because we didn’t even bother with the word (Not to mention the college subject necessary for our theses!). Anyway here’s our top ten funny behavior of (Pinoy) Facebook users (based on fabricated statistics of how many people do it):

Please note: If you find yourself among these, it doesn’t mean you have to change, but if you’re a real nuisance, then please do. Haha! Peace! ^^

The Top 6

Top 10. The ‘Celebrity’ (Feeling Artista)

The act of creating more than one account, an act originating from the medieval periods of Friendster, wherein a person’s account reaches its limit of having a number of friends. Ideally, this is attributed to popularity and congeniality. But the reality is, once they create a new one, you’re illogically added to that other account, regardless of being a friend in his or her first account, until it reaches its delusional maximum again, eventually creating another excuse to create a third account. The more accounts there are, the more delusional that person is.

Top 9. The ‘Love Team’ (Lakas Maka-Issue)

The act of repeatedly changing one’s relationship status from Single to In a Relationship, to the more controversial and usually comment-hoarding statuses: It’s Complicated and Married. The ideal use is to describe one’s actual relationship status. But those who have real problems would either hide the fact that their relationship is teetering rather than publicize their intimate dilemmas. However there are those who, out of honest sweetness or plain ‘cheesiness, and love of drama, commit the act to the point of nausea. If you don’t do it for fame, then you’re not under this bracket.

Those who exhibit the worst version of this behavior, who should seriously seek psychiatric help, would create a ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ profile. And yes, they do exist. You can easily catch the perpetrators of this worrisome behavior by checking the profile of their so-called partner. The most telling attribute would be having just one friend in their friends box. Who doesn’t have friends other than your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Top 8. The ‘Blocker’ (Sana hindi mo na lang in-add)

The act of blocking one’s account from a friend.

We could not fathom, or would even want to, what kind of reasoning these people have. If you have a friend that has their account blocked from you, then by all means remove them from your friends list, and if you can, from your life.

And if you are guilty of this act, come on, what’s up? If you’re just going to block someone, better remove him from your friends or don’t approve in the first place.

There are also those, although rare but not extinct, who would scour FB for your account to block you without adding you up. These are people who have serious misgivings against you. It either means you’re a stalker of some sort, or they feel that you’ll miss one-half of your life because you won’t know what’s going on in their life (as if they have one.. taking the extra mile just to block you already means they don’t have one).

Top 7. The ‘Starbucks drinker’ (‘Kaw na may Starbucks!)

The act of treating a Starbucks coffee cup as if it’s a souvenir from a trip to Disneyland. Starbucks is a status symbol—before. It’s too common to be descriptive of someone’s economic ranking today. We would avoid dwelling on the status symbol thing, since another circular convoluted discussion could erupt. Let’s not be too serious people, cheer up.

This is practically a must-have in the FB world, if you check the profile photos of your friends; they would probably have a Starbucks photo in their arsenal. It’s not annoying or funny by itself, but communally, it’s a humorous act, like a certain quirk that Pinoy FB users commit rampantly. I bet you have one too (We know we do ^^)

Top 6. The ‘Telenovela character’ (Bida siya lagi)

The act of changing one’s profile picture, like some camera reel, or status, like a subtitle from a Koreanovela, within minutes of each other. Their profile pictures change usually from emotional, artistic shots to jovial, perky captures. But do not underestimate their photography skills, these people have perfected the art of self-photography (yes even DLSRs with lenses!)

They accompany this visual talent with exemplary writing skill, overcoming the famed writer’s block. Without this handicap, they are better than most writers because their writing prowess is withdrawn with a snap of a finger. They usually write in vague, metaphorical quotes, delivered via textspeak or the seemingly alien form of language, ‘Jejenese’. 

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