Giving Up Medicine

It’s funny how things work out. For the entirety of my third to fourth year college, I’ve been having an internal debate whether to pursue Medicine after Nursing or find an alternate route—which may either be a complete reroute or a parallel avenue. These pertain to finding a career beyond the field of medicine and health care or following the dictates of my academe as a Nurse.

With much weight burdening, heavier by the moment, as if the toils and trivialities of being a graduating student nurse and the works of a student publication’s managing editor aren’t heavy enough, the silent argument between me and the rest of my three names seem to get fatter every day nearing graduation. The conflict starts to identify itself to a cow, grazing with every bit of encouragement from my family and friends—that I should become a doctor.

For nights, or rather dawns as I long for a two-hour sleep, I would ponder. What should I do? What should I be? Until thoughts dilute to—I should already be sleeping! I’ll be awake in an hour! How should I sleep?!? I let myself run the course and perpetually postponed the decision that I had to make. There were too much going on, a lot of hustle and bustle that I was trying to cope with. It was almost topsy-turvy—the deadlines of the newspaper, the tremendous amount of studying for board-type exams, the assignments and requirements for graduation, the fees needed to be paid, the requirements for the June board exam, the documents for the publication and a number of things I surprisingly survived through.

The day after Graduation day came. It was when I seriously pondered, thought, focused, and concentrated on making the decision that would have shaped my life. I asked myself solemnly, though my relatives were ‘singing’ or at that time someone was shrieking by the sound of it, should I become a doctor? Should I take up medicine?

The answer came to me as a gamble. I played lottery with my own future. I told myself, and a few other friends, but not instantly because I’m not a fan of personal Group Messages, “If” I pass the Nursing Board Exam for my first take—I will take up Medicine.

And I did. But when my mind was set to that goal, it was when everything started to change. I had to give it up. Maybe when I’m ready, and had more time because I need to go to work now, I’ll tell the story of why I had to give it up.

But don’t get me wrong, I’m merely expressing the fact that I won’t take up Medicine but it doesn’t mean that I’m too disappointed, it’s just that things work out for a reason, and that’s what I have to find out—what now, and what comes next.

(photo from http://www.inthesetimes.com/images/29/10/crossroads.jpg)