Zooming Out

November 3 marks the beginning of my last semester, hopefully, in FEU. I wouldn’t say college since I would still be pursuing an AB course. Me being in front of a number of people; my classmates, batchmates, teammates, teachers and parents during my graduation day as I deliver the redundant speech of loyalty is as fresh as the morning’s milkfish – but not as smelly.

   

Kuya Ian visited the office, was sidetracked more like, on his birthday, October 31. He was partly surprised why we were there. He admitted that he has this inkling that we, me, Dwight and other advo people, were in school and at the office. He suddenly tells us to enjoy and treasure the last semester we have in the Advocate.

I suddenly zoomed out for a wider perspective of the trying landscape. It’s like seeing a timeline of what was, what is and what could be or rather what I wanted and dreaded it to be. I was reminded of how near April is and how far my first June in FEU was. I suddenly was nostalgic of how I felt during the then 8-hour Advocate examinations and what I endured and enjoyed to get to where I am.

   

A part of me wants to extend my term, just until May, to do the things I want to leave for the Advocate. Perhaps if the Administration and the incoming Editorial Board will give me one more semester in FEU – then I would, but it would be against the Advocate’s new and improved charter – so that’s quite impossible.

Yet, there’s also a part of me who longs for the warm sun rays at the end of this short tunnel. To not worry, not be stressed, not care and to just relax – which I could do if I really wanted to – but I know I won’t and so did the people who entrusted me with such responsibility. It wouldn’t be a struggle if my drive is shared by those I work with. Well I believe they do, and that belief is gradually faltering by the moment. If such occasion materializes then my personal drive will have to be enough for everyone – and I will see that it really does.

   

It also made me return to my usual blog mood – poignant. My editorship is drawing to a pause. Yes a pause, I dare not say a close but it looks like it would really turn out that way. In any case, I surely will make the most out of this semester.

   

So I pray. I first thank God. Then I apologize. Then I ask for three things; strength, wisdom and courage. Strength to face any person, place or situation. Wisdom to make the right choice, proper judgment call and a well-balanced decision. Courage to do what is right and what’s not easy, to take the risk, to do what I ought to do and enough courage to draw strength I don't have and apply the wisdom I’ve not been given.