Three

I want to update my blog but I just couldn’t. Now I’m forcing myself to write an entry. 

A lot has happened for the past three weeks but the top three things that occupied my head were my studies, the FEU Advocate and frustrations that I couldn’t quite face, explain or dare say—at least out loud.

First, my academics were at its usual state—coping. Miraculously, though this really sounds boastful, my grades are still above average. In the conduct of our thesis, I felt isolated in my group. And I blame myself for it and I do not blame them for being indifferent since I rarely attended meetings—or not at all. In any case, it was resolved, by a high grade for the Thesis Defense. So all’s well that ends well.

For the publication, I’ve been ambitious since the start of my term as Managing Editor. So far, I’ve accomplished all that I’ve wanted except for a few glitches this semester. But if there’s one thing I truly regret, that’s the fact that I have to be the ‘kontrabida’ (antagonistic) just to get things done. But hey, I had the best orientation from the former executive board. I’m scared that I’m pushing too hard that they’d break, so if they chance up on this, I really am sorry for being atrocious when it comes to deadlines.

Now for my frustrations, suppressed emotions have been haunting me for the past months. I faced two choices; to allow the feeling or exert every inch of my body to push it away. I chose the latter. I have to. If I could only will them away, I’d do it.