Out of sheer laughter, after a short trip to Photo Concept, Recto for the Manila Bulletin FEU page, the Editorial Board somehow came up with a crazy idea of our own Telenovela. (as if we don’t have enough things to laugh about)
Originally, the idea was a political satyr with a tinge of Filipino-stereotype series and a pinch of El Cuerpo del Deseo. The impregnated idea gave birth to the full concept of Tierra Muerte. In any case, this entry wasn’t supposed to be an entry but a mere attempt of the suggested satyr screenplay.
Mere recollection and retelling are my only tools to identifying the characters so I opted to jot them or rather type them down. And viola, here it is;
Don Miguel Romansa – Owner of the vast lands of the well-known yet hated Romansa family. In their main land sits the Hacienda with ‘Romansa La Compundia’ across its huge gate which is also Don Miguel’s head office. He is the younger brother of Don Bruno who was supposed to inherit everything from their deceased father, Don Mariano Biron Romansa, if it weren’t for his gambling addiction. Don Miguel is the husband of Dona Leonora Romansa.
Don Bruno Romansa - the supposed-to-be inheritor of the Romansa wealth. A known gambler and the founder and president of the gagamba-betting group. Husband of Dona Candida Romansa.
Dona Leonora Romansa – wife and cousin of Don Miguel. Her marriage was staged to keep the family wealth within their realm. She bore two sons; Ramon and Roman. She favors Ramon in all aspects, for no definite reason, though it seems she’s in love with her own son.
Dona Almeda Romansa – mother of Don Miguel who was against his son’s marriage favoring her son’s original true love, Iluminada Romansa.
Iluminada Romansa – Don Miguel’s true love who has left Vigan and resided in Manila where she bore their son without Don Miguel’s knowledge.
Dona Candida Romansa – wife of Don Bruno and mother of Amor Romansa whose love for riches is undeniable. She is said to have driven Don Bruno to commit suicide. She is envious of the riches that Don Miguel’s sons will inherit.
Ramon Romansa – the prime businessman of the family and elder brother of Roman. Known to be unpredictable and rarely speaks unless he has to. Lets things go but has one desire that he dare not give – Saturnina.
Roman Romansa – Keeps a secret gallery of his former lovers but has kept an eye out for Saturnina as well. Known to be the black sheep of the family but his speech prowess is nothing short of cono and rather dashing for every girl.
Ricardo “Karding” Romansa – son of Iluminada and first-born of Don Miguel. A well-known scholar in Manila despite their low income. Works as a call center agent and brings food to their table. A meek but slick street guy, Amor sees him as rather dashing despite his ruggedness.
Amor Romansa – cousin of Ramon and Roman whose personality is of the same frame as her mother. Has a strong ardent desire for Brando – the family driver. Ambitious and conceited, she will do almost anything to get what she wants.
Atty. Villaluz de Villa – daughter of the late Atty. Villamor de Villa, who is a loyal subject of Don Mariano Biron. Upon her father’s death, she assumed responsibility as the Romansa’s family lawyer. Career-driven and works underhandedly.
Dr. Araceli Arellano – son of Dra. Aragon Arellano, another loyal subject of Don Mariano Biron and point of envy of Dona Almeda, who left her position as the Romansa’s family doctor to travel the world. Before leaving the family, she placed her son in her position. Dr. Araceli was rumored to have killed his own father with death by ants.
Saturnina Solaris – breadwinner of the once rival family of the Romansa – the Solarises. After Don Mariano Biron bought their land and everything they own, they now work for the Romansa family as farmers. Her father, the late Don Jupiterio Solaris, was said to be a rapist and was murdered with three axes with the killer unidentified. Saturnina’s siblings are Plutito, Neptunia and Mercuria.
May R. Doma – the 21st Maid-in-Chief of the Romansa la Compundia. A graduate of Criminology but failed to get into the Philippine National Police due to her ‘kakikayan.’
Brando – family driver, despises, loathes, hates and disgusts Amor.
Juego Jugo - New Leader of the Union of Romansa Undivided Group of Likas na Yaman (UR-UGLY).
Pacita P. Phansin - a well-known herbolario from India with her own herb clinic and nasty concoction jars. She is a primary consultant of the UR-UGLY and allegedly the mother of Juego Jugo.
Now who’s who?
Clue: EB
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